Saturday, February 21, 2009


I've been writing.
Critique these please, and don't hold back.

Recently the BYU International Cinema showcased some of the Oscar Nominated Short Films, plus a few others.
Varmints was fun to look at, but borderline a little preachy. Just a little. But it was so pretty I didn't care. But then I found out that it's based on a picture book. WANT.
But the one I hope wins the Oscar this year is LA MAISON EN PETITS CUBES. It needs to win. NEEDS TO. It is so beautiful and the story-telling is IMMACULATE. I wept like a child. Did you hear that I cried a lot and it was wonderful. It's that beautiful. Yeah. Sorry OKTAPODI but you just don't hold a candle.
EDIT: It won. :D

Yup. I can't wait til Sunday! Wait... if I wait just 12 more minutes... man I need to go to sleep.

1 comment:

Jacob said...

The story's not bad. You're going in the right direction, but there are a few things that you will probably want to address: Too much talking-head-syndrome. Dialogue isn't bad, but it's not a very good driving force for a story. Let the conflict show through in action.
Try picking one person and living inside of their head. Omniscience is fine for you as an author, but not as interesting for a reader.
Lose the adverbs. Don't talk quietly, mutter or whisper or hiss, but don't use a bunch of adverbs.
This is a good start though. I hope to see the finished product someday.